It started with an email from my high school best friend. She told me that our shared first boyfriend published a sci-fi trilogy.
The fact that he published a trilogy made me feel surprisingly warm and fuzzy, given how long I have not spoken to him and how we parted. The guy has achieved something sweet, good for him, good for the world I live in! But it’s not what shocked me.read more
A moment stuck in my head: A friendly, all-American belly dancer and a boring guy dropping five one-dollar bills on her shoulders as if he is covering her in furs and diamonds. Bestowing five one-dollar bills on her naked skin with royal confidence known only to testosterone that is completely unaware of own irrelevance. And she is dancing with more fervor.read more
I made our fucking divine for a second.
I, I did that. You, you received it. You commented on how good the sex was.
It gives me cramps. Not the fact that you ended up being a special nobody seeking me out during special moments of your loneliness – but the fact that I exercised wrong judgment. I hastily beautified you. I eyeballed perfection and forced you in. I built a pedestal for you. I got so carried away with this phantom of your love that it still haunts me. As if it is real.read more
So, once again I independently decide that you don't love me. You deny it, you say it's not it. I have a hard time buying it because I know how people act when they are in love. They can't bear long separation, they can't help responding to texts, it's the Force that...read more
Last week, you were my baby. You were undoubtedly my baby. My own. You are now some dude. I can stop talking to you in my head. I am pacing my apartment, even my cat looks half-orphaned. I miss you horribly. I think about all the good things we've had and I...read more
A ghost of you is everywhere. I feel dumb, helpless and enlightened. I think about all the places where we used to go every weekend. Restaurants, our faces, laughing. Trust, ease, feeling comfortable. Where the fuck did it all go? I refuse to think about quantum...read more
Tessa is a strongly opinionated singer and musician living in New York. Her background is in classical piano, linguistics, computers, ethnomusicology, and Tibetan studies. She fronts Tessa Makes Love.
Robots are on her shit list, and this blog is about not taking shit from the machine.