Story. Last week, I was watching a friend’s very awesome band, and towards the end of the night, as usual, it got to the part where the band is expected to engage in Pavlonian behavioral transformations (“Say this, say that…I can’t hear you! Now put your hands up in the air… not enough hands in the air, now dance”, etc.). That part of any live performance drives me nuts, every time. I feel violated, annoyed, depressed, aloof, frustrated, and existentially unsatisfied. I watch a room of adults turn into eager puppets, and I think to myself, “Why are you treating adults like children? And what happened to the truth?!” So I stand there and feel like I want to go back to my planet.

But then something funny happens. Two girls, sufficiently drunk, are yelling and cheering. A guy standing next to me gets a genius idea and says, “Yell with them!”

Of course, I find his suggestion completely crazy and since I am in the mood to speak the truth (as always), I say, “No. I am not going to yell. Why don’t YOU yell?”

GUY: Nah… I am not into that kind of thing.

ME: But you just asked me to do it. So basically, you are assuming that you are an intelligent human being and I am stupid…. Are my conclusions correct???

Then we laugh and I am satisfied. The end.