Am I the Enemy? A Confession of a Russian American

A big part of my problem is that this time around, the enemy is me.

Little Deaths

A ghost of you is everywhere. I feel dumb, helpless and enlightened. I think about all the places where we used to go every weekend. Restaurants, our faces, laughing. Trust, ease, feeling comfortable. Where the fuck did it all go? I refuse to think about quantum...

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Fever

It’s 7.30 in the morning and I am trapped inside an office cubicle, across the wall from the majestic American corporate skyline.

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Domestic Abuse (My Real Story)

When I was growing up, every day was a holiday. All things dark lived on the other side of the galaxy. Stupid things clearly were happening to stupid people who didn’t know better, to people who were less informed, to people who weren’t me. My life was an official walk to the bright future. I was an invincible sunny kid bringing home straight A’s, studying classical piano and Tibetan language, speaking at international conferences, hanging out with the rebels and playing in a band. I was dreaming big, problems were not problems. I was on the forefront of everything, and the world was mine.

Then I came to America.

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