So here is the thickest, almost medieval thing in society that I deal with. I’ve been meaning to post it for months but never found words until now.
Women who rely on their brain and don’t fuss around, are anti-sexy by the standards of mainstream culture. They can insist and be sexy if they project something else, if they give an illusion of submissive and focus on the skin, despite using their own brain. But it’s really “despite”. As long as male element is formally on top, it’s okay.
My favorite artist is Angelique Kidjo. She is powerful as fuck, but she does not fit the “sexy” definition.
I have zero problem with showing skin. I lost my pants at a nudist beach in Moscow when I was 18, and what happened next is really funny, but I will spare you the comedy. I wear bras maybe three times a year because I don’t like the feeling, and I did full body painting for a music video. Skin is cool. Body is awesome. Men are impossible to live without, all the chest-beating is extremely endearing as long as it’s not malicious. Context matters, however.
The culture is pushing an extra submissive woman as sexy. You can be cunning, you can be tricky, you can get things done. But you can’t be straightforward, or else you are not sexy.
Straightforward is not sexy.
As somebody who is straightforward and who has been doing this balancing act all my life, I am gravely underwhelmed by this situation. I deal with it, I use what I have, but it’s extremely inefficient. Lots of overhead. Too much overhead.
I don’t know what I am going to do about it, but I better do something. It got to the point where I look around, and ask myself, “What the fuck? Why so stupid?”
Help me God.
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